Thou monster Evil—stand forth!
And in whatever garb thou mayst appear,—
Whether harlot,—villain,—priest or Pope,—
I challenge thee to single
combat.
PREFACE.
ALL the reasons which have induced the compiler to publish this work, at the present time, cannot now be given. The reader will perceive many as he advances, and they will be better understood at its close.
The undertaking is considered by her to be bold and hazardous—in consideration of her inexperience as a writer.
Unwilling to place any one in an unhappy attitude with others, she has not consented to submit the work to a revisor, whose better judgment would prevent many inaccuracies and oversights in the style, and nature of the subjects introduced, from becoming so apparent as they inevitably will, in consequence of relying altogether upon her own knowledge and understanding.
The RELIGIOUS parts of journals and letters, have been much abridged, because not interesting to the general reader, and only so much retained as is thought sufficient to present the story in its true light.
Scenes, and language of a revolting character, must sometimes be presented; and the indulgence of the public is most earnestly entreated, while the compiler shall endeavor to do this with as little shock as possible to the finer sensibilities of the heart.
For the most
part, the manuscripts are presented in their original form; the compiler
considering that the involuntary expressions of the mind will better denote
its nature, than those highly cultivated passages, which
PORTLAND, OREGON:
CHAPTER I.
PARENTAGE, CHILDHOOD, &C., &C.,
ON the subject of this publication, Miss Rover, in a note to a friend, dated June 13th, '54, after referring to some insults and opposition to which she had lately been subjected, and had given the names of the authors, &c., &c., all of which will be considered in their proper place, says:
"It appears very evident that the work of which I once spoke to you, should be published in Oregon. * * * My conscience asserts most positively and approvingly, that, in all my dreadful trials, I have endeavored to perform my duty, faithfully and perseveringly, to my God, my husband, my neighbor, and myself—burying within my own bosom the injustice and injuries which have been done me; and there the remembrance of them would have remained had my enemies been content to have suffered me to pursue my course in peace. But 'tis in vain that I attempt any innocent employment, whether it be intended for recreation or to obtain a livelihood. The young of my classes are withdrawn, when a slander reaches them, for fear of contamination; I am avoided, and shunned, and slighted, and regarded with suspicions in every place, till my life is more burdensome than death would be. I have, therefore, in this conclusion, been impelled by a sense of justice due to myself and a wish that my future life should not be overshadowed by the gloom of the present."
Ruth's parents, when they commenced life together in 1794, were poor and unpretending. Unlike each other in mental capacities and inclinations, they nevertheless endured the marriage yoke together for a term of fifty years, when it was dissolved by the hand of death. The father, an industrious, upright citizen, inherited the respect of all who knew him. Not highly educated himself, he thought a common school system of education sufficient for his children, and anything beyond this, rank extravagance. Good trades, good habits, and good homes for his boys, was all he asked to make them respectable in life; while the daughters were submitted solely to the management of the mother, with, however, the caution often presented for her not to indulge their wish for finery. The mother was, in appearance, when a girl, one of those old-fashioned bonny lasses from the State of Maine—buxom, blithe and worthy. She spun and wove all her own household linen before her marriage—knit thirteen pairs of stockings during the evenings her lover passed with her. She instructed her daughters in the same useful arts, as well as how to prepare a good meal for the family or for friends, to set and keep the house in order, and to attire themselves in such apparel as was becoming, neat, suitable to their station, and could be afforded by their parents, or obtained by their own industry.
Ruth was the youngest of these genuine country girls. Of her childhood we cannot speak much. She undoubtedly did
many "cunning tricks" in learning to live—as all children are supposed to do until a younger one supplants them in the place of pet, when their very witty capers are forgotten in the zeal to proclaim those of the new comer. It has, however, been told me of Ruth that she was excessively fond of her books—that when she commenced the reading of a story it was in vain to expect her to cease until she had finished it—that the kind of punishment inflicted by the mother, for errors, was to keep her from school, and to promise her some additional privileges of that kind for rewards of good behavior.
She says: "My childhood was not vicious, nor particularly religious. My mother, however, was a pious woman, and early instilled into my mind the fear and love of God. She taught me to pray and early explained to me good books, particularly the bible. It was on an occasion like this that I acquired through her a confidence in God which has been the leading star of my existence. Having read and explained to me the nature of the passage which says, 'enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut the door, pray to thy Father who is in secret, and thy Father who seeth in secret, himself shall reward thee openly,' I retired to a dark closet which I had never before dared to enter alone, and having closed the door, I besought God to hear and bless me. My fears of darkness vanished—I believed he had heard my requests, and I found myself joyful in the thought that in my life I should always be protected by the great God who had shown himself so ready to listen to my simple prayers.
"In subsequent times
of danger from
"My first attempt at poetry was made at three years of age, before I knew the meaning of words. But selecting those which sounded alike I placed them at the ends of the lines, and getting an elder schoolmate to write for me, I concluded that I should at last have seat in the temple of Fame for this great production. So much was I ridiculed by my brothers and sisters for this, that I resolved that whatever else I might attempt, I would never again try to make rhyme; and I had adhered to this resolution most strictly till one day, in after years, I found I had addressed a letter in my imagination to a beloved sister, in rhyme, which I found as difficult to reduce to prose as to cultivate into poetry, and I suffered it to go with all its errors."
Another anecdote of the childhood of Ruth will be given, inasmuch as she, with her characteristic superstition, always regarded it as prophetic.
Mr. Rover had had a new bowling alley erected at the hotel where they resided, and when completed it was decided by the workmen that Ruth, being the pet of the family, should roll the first ball. She was carried out and placed at the head of the alley, and the ball laid upon her arms. At the given signal she let it drop upon the floor, when it rolled its slow course along towards the pins, and entering among them threw some down, and they falling on others threw them also down till every one had fallen and the ball remained in their midst, when the company loudly cheered the unpretending child and told her she had accomplished what no other person of the number could have done.
CHAPTER II.
OMENS.
RUTH ROVER evidently possessed a belief in the manifestation of the Providence of God, as well in the trifling as the most important affairs of human life—hence she frequently derived much comfort as well as instruction from the appropriateness of many texts of scripture to her peculiar situations, as also from scraps of reading from other sources; and although she sometimes feared she was merely superstitious, yet she had the example of many others, one of which will be given:
"The leaf of a folio bible, burned on the four edges, was last night conveyed from a fire in Brighton street to the chamber of a physician who keeps a private hospital in Howard street, Boston. The leaf was carried by the wind a distance of half a mile and taken into a chamber window which was open. On it was found written:
"Honor a physician with the honor due unto him—for the uses which ye may have of him; for the Lord hath created him.
"For of the Most High cometh healing, and he shall receive honor of the king.
"The skill of the physician shall lift up his head, and in the sight of great men he shall be in admiration."
Another coincidence is found in the fact that the day before the funeral of a stranger, who died in the house, took place. The 16th and 17th verses of the same chapter read as follows:
"My son, let tears fall down over the dead and begin to lament as if thou hadst suffered great harm thyself; and then cover his body according to the custom, and neglect not his burial.
"Weep bitterly and make great moan, and use lamentation as he is worthy, and that a day or two, lest thou be evil spoken; and then comfort thyself in thy heaviness."
We have no superstitious inferences to draw from this event. The circumstances as we have detailed them, are all facts. It is one of those remarkable coincidences which sometimes occur in the particular providence of God, which according to the doctrine of chances could not be calculated upon in one of many millions of cases. It is more remarkable, even, than the incident which occurred at the great fire in New York, some years since, respecting the Methodist book establishment and the leaf containing the verse, "Our holy and beautiful house is burned," &c., which was conveyed to Long Island."—Zion's Herald.
As it is premised that Miss Rover's mind might have received some inharmonious tone from the remembrance of disappointed love, to which she was early subjected, we will allude to the subject here.
Some may affirm that the affections can be engaged but once in a life-time, but we aver to the contrary. None was ever more ardent, more pure, or more woman-like than that which occupied the heart of Ruth at three different times before she took up her residence in Oregon, and from which she resolutely called off her thoughts when she had discovered they were ill placed. She had arrived at her seventeenth year before she had met any person who had awakened in her mind any stronger sentiments of regard than her school-mates, till she met in company young student, son of a physician in —, Mass. They each became attached to the other at first sight—the acquaintance was continued, and marriage
was proposed—when Ruth learned that a friend of hers, a very excellent young lady, was devotedly attached to him, and moreover, that he had sworn to marry no other but her, and whom he had ceased to visit on account of some slight misunderstanding. Ruth visited her and found these facts confirmed, and assuring her that she should forever decline his addresses thereafter, left the town.
'Tis useless to attempt to portray the sorrows of mind which ensued. With that one loved image before her mind by night and day—worthy, yet offered in sacrifice—she passed dreary months of grief uncomplainingly, sustained by the consciousness that she was doing right—even as she "would be done by"—till she made a new acquaintance with a teacher in W. Academy.
This gentleman was a candidate for the ministry of the M. E. church. His attentions were rendered the more agreeable to Ruth from the circumstance of the disappointment she had lately endured—and which also caused her to be wary in arriving hastily to any conclusions in relation to a union. In her own words we will cite the event:
"In a few weeks I discovered that there were in the academy others who entertained towards Mr. — attachments corresponding with my own, and that he was equally studious, on his part, to encourage them. This was as a death blow to me. I at once detested his deceit and avoided his society. He suspected the cause, and instead of coming to an explanation, as a man of honor would have done, he pursued his course with increased ardor, as he perceived it to give me pain. My situation by some may be imagined, but can never be described. As a proof that my mind was painfully affected, I need only to add that my days and nights were mostly spent in excessively weeping, and in extreme agony of mind.
"During this state of feeling, I was obliged to attend to my studies—keep up good appearances—be regular in my attendance at school—and wear a smile on my countenance when my heart was wrung with grief. Yet, notwithstanding all my endeavors to conceal my anguish, I was suspected, though the cause was unknown. Some attributed my sadness to a melancholy turn of mind; some to sullenness; and others to a carelessness of obligation toward those who had placed me at school free of expense. I did not cherish his memory with pleasure—and I can think of him now only as of a grave with a poison flag growing above it and s contaminating the air with its noxious breath."
She continues: "I loved again, and with all the ardor of the first love, a gentleman of Boston, of exemplary and ardent piety, and glowing and pure affections. I resigned him, to become a missionary, believing that whatever appeared in opposition to duty should be sacrificed, though dear as a right hand, or the apple of an eye."
As time bears us onward toward our grave, how is its gloom lightened by the belief that we shall meet such kindred spirits again, where duty can demand no sacrifice, but where love—holy and eternal as the source from whence it came—will exist, free from all the admixtures of evil, which despoil its beauty here.
These references, so early given, will explain many passages which will occur hereafter.
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